Those Eyes
by jollekebolleke
Summary: This takes place after the last episode of the series. Because I just COULDN'T leave it at that. And I thought there was way too little fanfiction on here to statisfy my need for a proper ending. So I thought I'd write something myself to get more people writing. LOVE THIS SHOW. All characters don't belong to me, but to the amazing people who thought them up.
1. Chapter 1

'Oh no.' This was the first thing I thought as I opened my eyes, squeezing them tightly together again right away. I had a raging headache, everything was sore and my memories were….fuzzy, to say the least. And then that dream… I groaned softly, putting a hand to my head.

"Goodmorning sunshine." Came the reply to my selfpitying groan, which caused me to tense up and snap my head to the side, where my eyes met with no one other then Will. I felt my heart leap up into my throat. 'A very naked…Will. In my bed. Naked. Will….my bed. Oh god.'

It seems like that dream wasn't a dream after all. I lifted up the covers, peeking underneath them hastily. ' Yep… I am naked too, great.'

"Will um…did we… I… we…"

' This is not coming out the way I want it to. Get it together Emily. Be smooth. Cool. You've got this'  
I cleared my throat, softly, so it didn't seem too awkward, not that that would have helped. I felt very awkward, and probably looked it too. As always.

"So…we slept together…." I couldn't help but grin a little at that, however confusing this whole situation was. I had still been right about the whole teapot thing. And this was /Will/ and lord…Cassandra had not been exaggerating. But something in the back of my mind was nagging me. The thought of a certain set of dark brown eyes….hah…

Will grinned at me. "Yeah… so it would seem." He stroked my hair behind my ears. Smoothly, not with the same hesitance that Micah had done that back in the doctor's crash out room. Micah… My heart ached a little, despite the giggly feeling I got whenever I looked at Will. And after a few more seconds, even that girly feeling slipped away. Instead I felt my ever present guilt level reach epic proportions. I groaned louder.

"Noooooo….." Will looked at me with shock, and a clearly detectable hint of bruised ego. "I'm so sorry Will…but I never should've done this… I mean…Micah…" I got out of bed, wrapping the sheets around me but ending up getting my legs caught up in the covers and flopping face forward out of bed in the haste to get away from my very very very VERY naked, best friend….

Disgruntled, Will sat up. "Micah? Are you serious Em? After how he treated you at the hospital? You've only known him for like what? 5 months?" He got up, clearly pissed off and even a bit hurt, but not nearly as much as someone should be when the love of your life just rejected you. Not nearly as badly as I would've reacted. This little fact sunk in slowly, but painfully.

"Will… I do care for you…. I do." I said, as I felt my earnest face set in place. I was just so readable. Like an open book. " But last night…even though it was…amazing….I just… don't." I quickly got into my underwear, trying to form sentences that made sense. I paused, pulling a tanktop over my head before looking at Will, who was staring at me in disbelief. Like he didn't recognize the person who was talking to him. I felt a bit proud at that. I felt independent. I realized. I was about to reject him. I was ACTUALLY about to REJECT Will Collins.  
"Fact is…." I said slowly, rubbing my temples. " last night was a mistake."

Immediately, Will opened his mouth, protesting. I cut him off though. "We were drunk, you just broke up. You never even /looked/ at me that way for the past few years. And now you do, all of a sudden? I mean…I just…" I shook my head, pained by what I was about to say, he was my best friend after all. " I'm just….over…you." I said slowly, realization seemingly setting into my eyes as I said it, as Will looked taken aback. I saw him tense up, his shoulders stiffening as his face grew cold.

" Please don't be angry with me…I've pined after you for four years….I just…didn't fully realize just howmuch I was over you, precisely…."

"Seriously? Because of Micah? Emily, he is your boss. It'll never work. You told me what he did yesterday. There's no way that's not going to repeat itself."

"It might, but then that is between me and Micah, and not for your concern." I said calmly, my face soft. " I don't want to hurt you Will. But I have to be honest…. I'm just not…I'm not there anymore." I murmured, frowning slightly as I grabbed a pair of jeans.

Apparantly flabbergasted, Will stared at me, looking a little forlorn. " I just… I don't know what else to say." I smiled a bit desperately. "Oh god, why am I so ….awkward?"

Will snorted. "Em I really can't believe this. I told you, I chose you… I did."  
"Yes you did. But…after four years Will. I'm just… I feel like I'm just the obvious choice now. I'm just the back up. The predictable, sensible, reliable Emily." I smiled weakly at him. "I don't want to be that. And…" I paused slightly, thinking of how to form the sentence carefully trying to be as least hurtful as possible. There wasn't a way though, not really. "I don't believe that I'm ever going to be your first choice. I want to be a first choice. You're my friend Will…Can you try to understand this? Please?" I gently placed my hand on his arm, swallowing nervously.

There was a dreadful, and very long silence. At least, in my mind it was long. In reality, it probably wasn't more then a few seconds as Will set his eyes on my eyes sharply, scanning for any hint of a lie, some little trace of guilt for last night, which would mean that I was doing this because I felt guilty, not because I was being honest. But apparently, he couldn't find any. His face fell slightly. " Yeah…." He said slowly. "I think I can." He smiled weakly. " Guess my timing really was bad… wasn't it?"

I smiled weakly, giving him a hug. "You're a rockstar." I said, mimicking something he always used to say when comforting me. In a friendly way… of course.

How was I going to face Micah?

~~

Doctor Barnes happily skipped down the hallway. I watched his figure retreat, checking his watch. I almost had to face him. Just a few more minutes before they would tell the interns who were assisting in surgery today. I didn't know whether my stomach was up to it today. Just the thought of being in a room with Micah had my heart thumping in my throat very vigorously. I swallowed, staring at his broad shoulders before sucking in a breath. The best thing would just to come clean with what I had done. Probably ruining one of the best things that probably ever had happened to me. I thought back to that kiss outside of the pub. That perfect, amazing kiss. And Micah's dark eyes. Those eyes should really be illegal. But then I imagined the hurt in them after I would tell him about my little rendez vouz with Will this night. My throat ached a little. I really really really wanted to just flee to the stairwells and stuff myself with vending machine goodness. ' I seriously lack balvary.' I thought to myself disgruntledly. Why was this so much harder then talking to Will this morning? For some reason, I had been far less concerned about hurting him then about hurting Micah. ' I guess that means I really do like him.' I sucked in a breath, before walking to the administration desk, where we would receive our schedules for today. ' Whatever you do, act….real.' I told myself, nodding slightly. 'yeah, real… that was the best option in situations like this. ' I couldn't tell him now though.

"Goodmorning people, I need an assisting intern for an open heart surgery today…" Micah let his dark eyes roam over the heads of eager interns. 'Those eyes.' My brain whispered to me sneakily. My hormones were most definitely effecting my brain. As expected, Micah's eyes lingered at me before smiling lightly, the look that he saved for only me in his eyes. " Doctor Owens?"

I nodded curtly, smiling lightly. At least he had learned from his screw up from yesterday…. I hoped he would be merciful about my screw up. Technically we hadn't dated yet though. Right? Did it count? I pondered as I quickly hopped along as Micah turned heel, heading for the first patient of today and waving me along.

'Suck it up….suck it up suck it up suck it up.' I chanted in my head, listening to the case ahead of us and giving Micah answers he asked for. I was correct, but still he saw there was something bothering me.

He was quiet for a little moment. " Hey, are we um… okay? " He said when we were at a slightly more secluded place of the hospital. "I know I screwed up yesterday but… I wasn't planning on doing so again." He said gently, focusing his eyes on me.

I smiled awkwardly. "No no…it's not ….not that." I said softly. "I'm having another existential crisis I'm afraid… I will tell you but, can you wait until after our shift? Please? I need to…" I made a weird hand gesture with my hand around my head, showing that I had to think very hard. Micah smiled gently. "Sure. He put his hand subtly onto mine, squeezing it lightly. I felt my guilt washing over me. Swallowing me up like a worm eaten by some bigass catfish. Nevertheless, I smiled at him. "Thanks."

~~

Relieved I had managed to pull of most of the day with some grace, I hung my scrubs into my locker. I was going to have dinner with Micah at my house. Maybe a bit much for a first date. But I had needed somewhere where I was able to talk to him. And not be distracted by anything around me. I straightened my sweater and looked over at the door, from which a small knock sounded. "I'm decent" I called.

Micah came in, smiling. "Hey, you ready to take out thai food?" He smiled. "A simple first date, but this counts as your idea." He smiled goofily, " I was planning something more extravagant."

' yeah, if you ever want to go on a date with me again after what I'll tell you tonight.' My guts wrenched. It still amazed me how emotions could make my body feel sick. I knew for a fact that I was perfectly fine. It was probably just the guilt getting to me.

" Yep, all done." I smiled lightly. "Let's go."

' Here goes nothing'


	2. Chapter 2

"So," Micah said, walking back into my apartment with a bag of Thai food in his hands. "Seems like we're all set to eat." He grinned, putting the bag down and rubbing in his hands before sitting down. He really did look delighted to be here. I cringed a bit on the inside. The guilt had to be pulsating off me by now. I was so surprised that he hadn't caught on to it yet. I thought I had one of those telltale faces?

I was snapped out of my trail of thought by one of his warm hands covering mine. "What's up Em? You're overthinking this, aren't you?" he murmured, his face falling slightly.

'Oh man, I can't take this' I thought silently. True, Will would never tell if I asked him to keep it quiet… But this…this guilttrip I was living. It was torture.

" No no…Micah." I swallowed. "I am. But…It are quite…positive thoughts." I smiled weakly as his expression softened and warmed. " I just…have to tell you something first…" I sucked in my bottom lip, dreading this conversation.

Micah was silent, looking at me intently. Focused on my every word. Hell…there was no way to tell him this in a way that wouldn't hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him. I squeezed my lips together. Why on earth did the fact that I slept with Will Collins want to make me cry now? I never thought I would cry about that.

I sighed, pushing back the tears. " I…I made a mistake, a very terrible one….I loathe myself for it." The pressure of Micah's hand on mine became slightly more. I looked at him. He was probably thinking I was referring to our relationship as the mistake. If only, that would've been easier…in a way.

" I slept with Will." I blurted quickly. "I….we were in the pub and I had had a few drinks, and then I was so confused because of what happened when you picked Cassandra instead of me to assist. And he told me he had chosen me, and that that's why Cassandra broke up with him. Because he had chosen me." I whispered, my voice losing power. "And these are all….lame excuses…and there isn't an excuse for something like this. I just…wasn't really over him after all." I pulled my hand back slowly. He probably wouldn't want to hold my hand now anymore anyways. I looked up, feeling the tears fall from my eyes. 'When did I start crying?'

Micah looked utterly confused for a split second, before hurt set into his eyes. "Will….ah." He smiled weakly. "So…it's still Will then?" He leaned back in his chair, his eyes completely dark. He looked angry. Served me right though.

"No." I said this very pointedly, causing Micah's head to snap back and look at me. "No…Will…I'm over Will."

Micah huffed. "you said the same thing to me a few days ago." He went to get up.  
I jumped to my feet. "I /know/ what I said." I blurted. "But I didn't …I didn't know then!" I looked at my feet turning beetred. "I realize that you want nothing more then to leave right now, and you have every right to, but….it would mean a lot to me if you would just hear me out. Just for a little while."

Micah stood up fully too, facing me, crossing his arms in front of his chest, something he always seemed to do when he was in a position he really didn't want to be in. It was his tough-guy pose, as I've come to call it.  
"So talk." He said curtly, his voice had a harsh note to it.

I had to say the right things now… I grimaced. I'd have to be painfully honest. I remembered the last time I'd done that. I had been rejected. Micah could reject me too now. He had every right to.

"I didn't know…you liked me." I said quietly. "I take a long time processing things like that…as you've noticed. Lord…the first thing I said when you kissed me was 'thank you'….I mean, who does that?" I smiled sadly, looking at my feet. "Thing is, whenever I'm with you now, I feel…." I swallowed. "I feel so good. I can't really explain it but…you make me laugh, and whenever you just so much as…./look/ at me my entire body seems to just…overload." I blushed, this was so embarrassing. "When I woke up next to Will… I was just, disgusted. About myself, about my silly admiration I had for him. And I also felt that that admiration was just…gone. He was just my best friend. Just like that." I took a breath, taking a glance at Micah's face. His expression was still harsh, but his mouth seemed to have softened a bit.

"Yes, but you also said before that you were over him. Just like that." Micah said, a slight growl sounding through his voice. His eyes were piercing as they seemed to look right through me. "What's different now?"

I held back my sound of despair. I couldn't let him leave. "Don't you know?" I murmured, making myself look into his eyes. 'Don't look away.' I told myself.  
"You….You're different. You kissed me, and from that moment on, Will gradually got pushed out…instead of squashed down somewhere deep in my system. The Will archive actually has been deleted. After four years!" I started to ramble, still looking him into those eyes, those dark pools that seemed to take me in and keep me there.

"And to think of that… that's just…so bizarre, to think that one kiss, from someone I hadn't even really considered liking like that, could just eliminate the entire Will related archive of thoughts out of my head. Just like that. That was my switch. I just….didn't realize it until it was too late." I swallowed, feeling more tears fall down from my eyes and I started to look away. He was going to walk out. I had been so very wrong. He had every right to do so. I was locked in that position though, I couldn't move. Maybe moving would make him stir, and he would leave. Why wasn't he leaving though?

The silence lasted for what seemed like hours, but then, I suddenly felt a warm, calloused thumb whipe away one of my tears.

Micah's voice sounded soft, and a bit shaky as he spoke up. "Just to be clear….Will…knows this too now?"

I nodded, vigorously so. "I told him, right this morn-" I didn't even get to finish the sentence before Micah's lips were on mine. Hot and possessive, but also with a hint of tenderness. His hands cupping my face as he pulled me closer. I was momentarily stunned, before I started to kiss him back.

He pulled away slightly, murmuring against my lips. "Then consider me claiming you from now on." He smiled boyishly and stole another small peck. "I am not going to come in second any more." I let out a sigh of relief, my body going limp in his arms. "You have…no idea, how happy I am to hear that." I whispered, looking at him incredulously.

Micah smiled. "Well, I wasn't just going to step down." He grinned, pressing me back up against the wall gently before resting his forehead against mine. "I like you way too much to do that doctor Owens. I think it's wise to fight for your first choice." He shrugged.

I grinned at that before grimacing again slightly. "I just…I still feel so terrible." Humming, Micah kissed my cheek. "And you should. It was really very terrible. Just don't do it again. Ever. Because I bet I wouldn't believe that speech a second time."

"You did believe me now though, right?" I mumbled, my eyes caught up in his again. The look in there made me tremble. Kiss me eyes.

And he kissed me again, long and deep as he gently pressed his body up to mine, pinning me against the wall completely. " Yeah. I've got to say that I did." He mumbled.

I let out a short breath, it almost sounded as a whimper. This was just…so….well…/hot/. I'd never pegged Micah as a dominant type, but here he was, completely taking control of the situation. Goosebumps rose up on my skin as I leaned into him. "I think that I've done enough overthinking. For real now." I murmured before I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

Micah let out a slight grunt, pressing into me and trailing his hands over my waist and hips before letting one come up to carress my face. The kiss turned more intense quickly and I felt as if I was completely melted together with him. And I didn't ever want to be detached.

He smiled as he pulled back, stroking my hair behind my ear. "Well then…let's start over." He grinned. "Food?"

I kind of felt a loss there for a moment. He had me utterly breathless. From just a few kisses. I swallowed. "Yes." I nodded. "Yes…that's what we were um… doing."

He laughed at me, taking my hand and pulling me over to the table.


End file.
